Monday, July 09, 2007


"A Word That Wounds"

Thank you, Candice, for posting this....

"You are such a retard.

You've heard the expression. Sometimes it's preceded by an expletive, as in "you're such a f—-ing retard." Either way, with or without the curse word, it's a harsh statement. But one, it seems, that's become increasingly acceptable. So much so that in one recent week I kept track of how many times I heard it and who said it. I heard it daily — whether it was a colleague, a neighbor talking to his dog, an actor from a hit TV show during an interview with me, a top level advertising executive, young men playfully swapping insults or Tony Soprano to his son after a botched suicide attempt.

Last year, the r-word was in the title of a Two and a Half Men episode It's a word that, unlike "pimp" or the n-word, is always derogatory. For reasons that I can't understand, pimp has become synonymous with style. The n-word, for a handful of African-Americans, is a term of endearment — until someone outside the circle uses it. Then it becomes derogatory.

But no matter how or by whom the r-word is used, it's always in a negative context. You don't hear, "What a great idea, that's so retarded." You don't hear, "Awesome catch — what a retard move."

While some are advocating that the n-word be banished from America's lexicon, who is the voice for the 7.5 million Americans with intellectual disabilities who truly are mentally retarded? Who is defending their dignity while everyday folks — educated adults at that — take a term that clinically applies to the disabled and use it as an insult?

What's my fascination with the r-word? I take it very personally. And I'm not a person who is easily offended. I am, however, the mother of a 6-month-old daughter who was born with Down syndrome. Lydia Catherine is sweet. She's got a warm smile and very knowing blue eyes. She's got a subtle little dimple and a tiny tuft of strawberry blonde hair that swirls into one single swoop into the air.

When she looks at me, I feel like she can see all the fears, concerns, doubts and questions that swim around in my heart and my mind every day. Will she be smart enough to know when she hears people say the word "retard" that they are talking about her?

This is not new territory for me. I grew up the sibling of a Down syndrome sister. Catherine Anne was 41 when she passed away four years ago. She was born at a time when "mongolian idiot" was the operative term, and doctors suggested to my parents to leave her behind and she'd be taken care of. It really meant she would have been institutionalized. They didn't listen. Catherine lived with my parents until the day she died.

For as long as I can remember, I corrected people when they said the r-word. I flashed dirty looks to people who stared. I told parents to tell their child that it's not polite. Ever gregarious, Catherine would smile at strangers, many of whom would be so uncomfortable that they didn't know what to do. Even after Catherine passed away, I continued to correct people for a few years. Then I got tired. I no longer felt it was my battle.

Until Dec. 10, when Lydia was born. My journey has begun all over again, this time with me as the mother and my older daughter, Sofia, as the sibling. If I was protective of my sister, I am almost scared of how protective I will be for Lydia and her own sister. But as she grows up in a time when "retard" is a socially acceptable slur, professional organizations are trying to change the clinical term. Last November, the American Association on Mental Retardation changed its name to the American Association on Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities. The Special Olympics is advocating that "retarded" be dropped from the vernacular.

Fixing the terminology is only a start. The bigger issue is acceptance of people with disabilities.

Do your part. Don't stare. Say hello. Be inclusive. And when you want to insult someone's intelligence, remember to use a different word."

Theresa Howard is an advertising reporter for USA TODAY. She lives in Hoboken, N.J., with her husband, Peter Baracskai, and their two girls

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Friday, July 06, 2007


Blue Cross Blue Screwed?

Love him or hate him, I still recommend giving this movie a fair shake...

And if you hate it THAT much when the credits start to roll, well...I'll be a) willing to eat my words AND/OR (depending on how bad of an experience you had) b) willing to let you punch me in the face.

Mark my words.

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Monday, July 02, 2007


A Romantic How-To....

It's often been said that love can make you do stupid things...

Such as when you're talking to your main squeeze and somehow in between the "....I love you...." "....No, I love you more...." war that couples often get into, you slipped something else into the conversation.....

In a drunken stupor of love, the words "Oh honey, you just come on over and I'll cook dinner tonight" worked their way in....

Which all in all wouldn't be a huge ordeal, except that it is a known fact that:

But before you freak out, allow me to shed some light on this terrible predicament by offering this:

A Step-by-Step Dummies Guide to Preparing Dinnner:

When You Suck So Hard At Cooking That It Hurts.

ALOT.

Step #1: Break out the cookbooks and begin studying. This could potentially be an all-nighter, so coffee is a fantastic companion to have by your side.

Step #2: If a recipe didn't jump out of a cookbook and grab you (which it probably didn't because you probably don't even own a cookbook), then you have to move on to other options. Like the internet....

Step #3: Once you've found that delicious recipe that suits your fancy, it's time to head to the pantry to see what ingredients you DO have and what you will need to get:

Step #4: Once you've taken stock of what's in the pantry, move onto the refrigerator....

Step #5: Once you realize that you have absolutely nothing in both your pantry AND refrigerator, open up all cabinets to make sure there isn't something you've forgotten you had on hand that COULD be useful in preparing this romantic feast. You might surprise yourself with what you have lurking in the shadows of your cabinet....such as this....

(...Ooops....how did THAT get in there?....)

Once you've taken inventory of EVERYTHING and realized that you have nothing that the recipe calls for, it's time to move onto Step #6:

Bite your nails.

Immediately following Step #6, you'll want to tackle Step #7:

CRY.

Why?

Because you, my friend, are seriously f***ed in the a**.

Step #8: Pull yourself together. Just when you think that all's lost, a light bulb will magically appear over your head.

Step #9: Realize that the answer to all of your problems lies just over the horizon...it's getting closer and closer....

Step #10: REJOICE!

Step #11: This is where it starts to get a little tricky, so I would highly recommend taking notes. First off, locate your best Chinaware (or paper plates). Take the sandwich of choice out of the bag and unwrap it.

Step #12: Take the hashbrown/french fries out of the bag and put it on the plate.

Step #13: Mash the hashbrowns up to where it looks like a homemade hashbrown casserole that you've slaved over all day long. This is where, if you're creative, you can go that extra mile and sprinkle a little salt and maybe, just maybe (and this is only if you're feeling EXTRA ADVENTUROUS AND DARING) you can toss some shredded cheese over them.

Step #14: Create the mood. Light a candle (or two) and get ready to set the table for l-u-r-v-e.

Step #15: Step back and admire your handiwork. You, champ, pulled it off! Delicious? You betcha! Come and eat your heart out!

Step #16 (not shown): Immediately and frantically discard all McDonald's bags/wrappers, burying them in the trashcan so that your secret will never be revealed.

Step #17: Wipe the sweat from your brow and prepare to take the credit for a mind-blowing dinner!

Step #18: Give yourself a well-deserved high-five!

After all is said and done, people from far and wide will come together to cheer in unison, celebrating your great, almighty victory!

And just as long as your secret never gets out, your loved one will go on thinking that he's landed the world's greatest cook and he might even have a little surprise for you, too (wink, wink)....

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Sunday, June 24, 2007


Just for the record...
Current mood: pissed off

Jokes involving the word "retard" = NOT FUNNY.

Bust one out around me and expect a black eye. No questions asked.

Seriously. Cross my little heart on it.

Lovingly,

Snapp

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Wednesday, June 06, 2007


Riddle me this, if you dare...
Current mood: annoyed

Why is it that CNN, MSNBC, E! and other news stations alike have deemed Paris Hilton's recent "behind bars" experience for dumbassery as news-worthy, ground-breaking, earth-shattering, and in need of more round-the-clock coverage than any other worldwide event?

I mean, I can't possibly think of anything else that could be half as important as reporting the struggles that Paris now faces...it's nothing short of a nation-wide tragedy to know that for the next 23 days, she will be separated from her credit cards, personal assistants, shopping sprees, mini skirts, hair extensions, pool side service, BMW's, late night drunk fests, bags of coke, photo shoots, and her little dog Tinkerbell, too.

THIS is clearly a crisis and it makes perfect sense as to why we Americans should invest time in staying up-to-date on this story as it continues to develop...

Silly me for EVER thinking otherwise...

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Saturday, May 19, 2007


Facin' the cold, hard facts...

Trust me, it's hard to do sometimes, but eventually you have to stare reality in the face and swallow the cold, hard facts in life.

Today I did just that...and well, I've learned to accept that there is one thing in life I will never learn to conquer.

After doing roughly 3 loads of laundry (sue me, I'm lazy), it became painfully clear that I cannot and will NEVER be good at folding a fitted sheet. I can wad and shove in a closet, but rarely does it resemble or come close to looking like it's been folded.

For all of you that can do it and do it well, I hate you.

Teach me how?

Heart,

Snapp

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Saturday, May 12, 2007


A comment from the peanut gallery...

Each and every time I am forced (yes, read again with capital letters and bolded text: FORCED) to walk into this place, not only do I shudder at the thought but a little piece of my soul dies...

God bless us all...





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Tuesday, May 08, 2007


Livin' Large...

After spending much time flipping through endless mind-numbing channels, I noticed that there is a question looming out there that no one show has yet to fully answer.

How does one live large?



Good question, my friends. Good question.



Sure, MTV Cribs thinks they've got the answer…they show immaculate homes and pimped out rides owned by some of the world's finest in the show biz…but I feel like in order to really understand just how to live large, you need to go straight to the source for all the answers.



That's where I come in, folks. Move over, you lame ass MTV, and feast your eyes on my hot new "how to live large" tip for the day.



Tip #1: Establish yourself as an icon in the fashion world.



When you're living large, you have to stay afloat in the fashion world. You're constantly looking for ways to reinvent boring trends and explore the unknown world of hit and miss fashion risks. In a moment's notice you should be able to piece together an outfit that would be suitable for any sort of A-list event…and the only way to ensure that you don't soar to the top of the World's Worst Dressed List is through countless hours of devout studying and preparation. I, like most natural born fashionistas, have spent my entire life perfecting the art, and well, it hasn't been without much blood, sweat, tears, and many jokes made. Even looking back on my childhood, I can see from day one how my keen sense of fashion was slowly blossoming…



Example #1: The kindergarden picture



I fought (and won) the argument against my mom to dress myself for my very first school picture…she tried for days to persuade me to wear a frilly pink dress complete with pigtails and ribbons, but I just knew that's what everyone else would have on, too. And if you're a true fashionista, you know that one of the biggest fashion faux-pas is wearing the same outfit as someone else. So I dug through my closet and prided myself on a job well-done when I rolled onto the scene wearing this number:







A pink sweater and a blue hair bow that I managed to turn into a lopsided bow-tie. Trust me, putting hair bows in your hair was so 1984. Wearing them on your clothes, on the other hand, was a fresh approach that most wouldn't dare attempt. Hot? Of course I already know the answer, but I'll let the picture speak for itself.



Example #2: Having great make-up



Every fashionsta knows that not only do you have to have great clothes, but you have to have great make-up to go with it. It takes time, effort, and the best products to score that amazing and highly natural Cover Girl look. It's all in selecting a proper foundation that provides coverage in the areas needed while still complimenting your unique skin tone. In addition, every skilled and trained make-up artist will also tell you that it's all in how you define your eyes and lips. Those are, for the most part, the two most prominent features of the face and highlighting them with the right tones and shades can really do wonders to give them that "pop" we all look for. Some say it's best to stick with more of the earth tones, while others ride the line of being a little too edgy and bold. I lean on the side of the latter and take an all or nothing approach. If you're going to do make-up, you should go all the way. Just like this:





Example #3: Finding and wearing that perfect bathing suit



There are a number of health and beauty magazines that will teach you how to slim and trim those problem areas so that you can score a fabulous bikini-ready body. But I think it's all about finding that one suit that will bring out your best features without spending too much time sweating on the treadmill. Some people even choose to add things to their swim wear, such as the popular sarong, in hopes of masking those problem areas while still remaining highly fashionable. Because working out is painful, I took that last route and chose to hide behind my not so hot features in this:





These red scrunchy socks did wonders hiding my problem area:





My big toes. As for why I'm wearing a t-shirt underneath and holding a baton…well, it just proves that I'm badass and if you mess with me, I'll probably have to kill you.



Example #4: The first outfit made from hand



This will really go miles in proving that you have mastered the world of fashion…if you can create something with a few short snips and add your own unique touches to give it new life, then you can consider yourself awesome in my book. I did just that one year for Halloween because I grew tired of these:





The classic plastic costumes that everyone as a child was forced to wear. It was boring, cookie-cutter, and my God, did you sweat a river behind all of that sticky plastic mess. So when my mom asked me what I wanted to be one year for Halloween, I responded with: "It's going to be a surprise." And a surprise it was. I found an old sweatshirt, some old sweatpants, a few stickers, a pair of suspenders, and some fluorescent puff paint. In a matter of hours, I had created this look while also giving my mom an absolute heart attack.





Sadly enough, after this picture was taken, I wasn't allowed to leave the house to go trick-or-treating until I changed clothes. And I can't imagine why…I guess I'll just chalk it up to the fact that my parents have little or no clue as to what REAL fashion is. I mean, I can't possibly see how any parent would be embarrassed if their child wore something like this.



Example #5: The outfit that brings out your inner self.



I think it's important that not only do you wear something stylish, but that you also wear clothes that reflect who you are as a person. If the clothes don't feel right, then you won't wear them right…and if you don't wear them right, then you can best believe you'll have an off-night all night. I've worn heels…I've worn mini skirts…I've worn bell-bottom jeans…I've tried on tube tops…I've owned my fair share of skin-tight shorts…I have at one time or another had a closet full of clothes that looked great, but that just didn't look (or feel) great on me. But in the end, no matter what, I knew I could always count on this outfit:





Overalls. Not only do I wear them in style, but they also bring out my long-lived dreams of becoming a farmer. Nothing says, "I can shuck corn better than you" than this. And well, in this outfit, I can outshuck anyone. Bitches.



Example #6: The combination trend look



I said in the beginning that you have to stay afloat in the fashion world…therefore, I'm no stranger to the long nights at home pouring over the latest in Vogue or Elle, gathering ideas and figuring out ways to incorporate what's hot into my wardrobe. Though I might not always have a salary that can support a shopping spree on Rodeo Drive, I will say that I have the ability to take a brand name look and find a carbon copy of it hanging on the racks in a thrift store. I'm THAT pro. For example, here are two looks that I have stylishly combined into one. First we have the newest trend in head band scarfs, worn by The Simple Life co-star now turned drug addict Nicole Richie.





Hot? Absolutely. This look definitely comes in handy when you want to look stylish but you don't want to wash your hair. Which is how I feel on a daily basis.



Then we have the new trend in the so-called classy-sloppy category sported by none other than Mary-Kate Olsen.





Ladies and gentleman, the bathrobe is back. And I couldn't be happier!



After careful consideration, I managed to pull this look together:





And this, my friends, is how you do it…take notes MTV...THIS is what will really make a man sweat and his loins quiver. Come and get it, boys. There's enough of this baby blue bathrobe to go around....



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Monday, May 07, 2007


What is beauty?
Current mood: peaceful

More often than not, I'm guilty of overlooking one my biggest sources of inspiration and joy: the little things in life. And it's no wonder…contrary to popular belief, twenty-four hours is simply not enough to accommodate today's detailed agendas, hectic lifestyles, and mile-long lists of things to do while gracefully maintaining some sense of sanity, peace, and balance in the process. It's usually somewhere in between stumbling to the shower, rushing into work, working later than scheduled, handling those unexpected fires that present themselves at the most opportune of times, running on autopilot, and squeezing in a social life while still managing to eat, sleep, and breathe that we lose our ability to both recognize and appreciate the little things that can restore our souls (…did I just win the longest sentence award?…). Considering how I've recently been on an extended sabbatical from all things work-related, I've had more time on my hands to slow down, experience boredom at its finest, watch a ridiculous amount of tv, and find inspiration and a breath of fresh air in the most unlikely of places. Such as a commercial. More specifically, the new "Campaign for Real Beauty" by Dove. A "little thing" that I hope makes a large impact.



Before I dive headfirst into the meat and potatoes of this blog, I first want to share some statistics that I read, compliments of endless free time…



Did you know that in America…

* $20 billion is spent annually on cosmetics
* $300 million is spent annually on cosmetic surgery
* $33 billion is spent annually on weight loss aids
* 37% of girls AND boys in grades 3-6 have already dieted
* 9% of 9 year olds have vomited to lose weight
* 78% of 18 year old girls are unhappy with their bodies
* The #1 wish of girls 11-17 years old is to lose weight

Although I can't guarantee the accuracy of these numbers, there is an obvious and alarming trend that is emerging and (sadly enough) affecting America's overall sense of self-esteem, value, and confidence in its understanding of beauty.



I will hang my picture on the wall of shame by admitting I have subscribed to the widespread idea that physical appearance often defines who we are…that our worth and beauty as human beings is judged on the basis of what is on the outside. It's no secret that there is an extreme pressure facing women (and men) today to be a certain size and to have certain features. We are told that we need to be slim, well-endowed, and model-like from head to toe. We are told directly and indirectly to mold ourselves into this ideal, and we are made to feel like we are somehow less of a woman when we fail to fit into this rigid and unattainable standard. We've become indoctrinated with society's definition of beauty to the point where the above statistics have lost much of their shock factor and are becoming the norm. But I question what we (myself included) are doing to ourselves in the name of "beauty" and why we continue to perpetuate these lies…



Being beautiful means having it all. Or so they say. Look at any advertisement, whether it be in a magazine, on a billboard, or on tv, and you'll find waif thin models portrayed in the best of light…heads thrown back while laughing, dancing in the arms of handsome men on beaches, living in the most upscale of homes, dressed in designer clothing…and whether intended or not, the message often conveyed is that being skinny and beautiful means being happy and successful. Once you've met this ideal standard of beauty, all of your dreams magically come true and the world is yours. What they don't show is that most of these models that are held in such high regards by society (with the exception of a small percentage of naturally thin women) starve themselves down to their birth weight, vomit everything they eat, workout endlessly, and live in a constant state of deprivation. Ask yourself…is this beauty?



What's dangerous about this, aside from the detriments to health, is that this lie offers us a false sense of security and confidence. We hang our own value, worth, and happiness on achieving unrealistic goals, and in the process, feelings of insecurity, inferiority, inadequacy, jealousy, envy, and competition are bred…all of the feelings that continue to drive us towards its pursuit. And it shows. The #1 wish for young girls is to lose weight…THAT'S the #1 wish. THAT'S what our future has on their minds…not such things as dreams of becoming an astronaut, becoming great at a sport, traveling the world, excelling in school, playing with friends, or learning a musical instrument…but losing weight. Ask yourself….is this really what beauty is?



We've spent an exhaustible amount of energy and money focusing on preserving something that comes with an expiration date, all the while missing out on a deeper beauty that is long-lasting and won't fade with time. Though it may be a corny, elementary, even slightly overused analogy, I find it helpful to think of beauty like a Christmas present. The outside of a present is nothing more than wrapping paper and bows, the stuff that ultimately gets ripped off and tossed aside in order to get to what truly matters...the gift itself. No one, except for maybe that one old-crotchety-knit-pickin'-overly anal-never-happy-with-anything-in-life aunt that most families have is concerned about whether or not the wrapping paper is of fine taste, if the edges are perfectly creased and folded, if the tape was transparent, or if the bow perfectly matched the wrapping paper. No one (with the exception of that same old aunt) sits around afterwards talking about how beautifully and perfectly wrapped the presents were…because what was important and what was remembered was what was inside.



And this, to me, is true of beauty. True beauty, real beauty, the beauty that no amount of make-up, diet pills, plastic surgeries, or age defying creams can touch is the beauty within. True beauty transcends a physical quality or a state of being because true beauty in my most humble of opinions is an action…it's how you live your life. True beauty is found in what you do, what you say, how you think, what you feel, and how you treat others…it's about your mind, your heart, your spirit, and your character…it can be found in your smile, laughter, sense of humor, hopes, dreams, creativity, inspirations, passions, energy, intentions, confidence, motivations, and talents. All of the things knitted together are what make you wonderfully and beautifully you…and sadly enough, this is what has been overlooked…



Though true beauty may be overshadowed, there are little signs along the way that prove it hasn't been forgotten….



"A beauty product company once asked people in a large city to send pictures, along with brief letters, describing the most beautiful woman they knew. Within weeks, thousands of letters came in.

One letter caught the attention of the employees and was soon passed on to the company president. It was written by a boy from a broken home, who lived in a run-down neighborhood. With lots of spelling corrections, an excerpt from his letter read: 'A beautiful woman lives down the street from me. I visit her every day. She makes me feel like the most important kid in the world. We play checkers and she listens to my problems. She understands me. When I leave she always yells out the door that she's proud of me.' The boy ended his letter saying, 'This picture shows you that she is the most beautiful woman in the world, and one day I hope I have a wife as pretty as her.'

Intrigued by the letter, the president asked to see the woman's picture. His secretary handed him the photograph of a smiling, toothless woman, well advanced in years, sitting in a wheelchair. Sparse gray hair was pulled back in a bun. The wrinkles that formed deep furrows on her face were somehow diminished by the twinkle in her eyes.

'We can't use this woman,' exclaimed this president, smiling. 'She would show the world that our products aren't necessary to be beautiful.'"

And this to me is both disappointing and humbling to read…long after you're gone people will forget how you looked…but long after you're gone, you'll be remembered for the ways you touched the lives of others. Seems to me that both this child and Dove's new marketing platform might just be on to something by doing their part to question the status quo and offer in its place a broader, healthier, more democratic view of beauty. And it's this little thing, this little step in the right direction that gives me hope for change.

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Monday, March 26, 2007


In Honor of Sanity
Current mood: relieved

I never would have imagined myself saying this as it seems a) contrary to my character and nature b) otherwise irresponsible and c) slightly irrational, but quitting my job without a Plan B in place has been nothing short of the best decision I could have ever made for myself.

Sure, I know that I will be without insurance in less than 4 days and the steady paycheck that I always counted on every 2 weeks is now a thing of the past; because of this, I better not get deathly ill and I must somehow learn to love peanut butter sandwiches and Ramen Noodles until I land another position. However a price simply cannot be put on one's overall sense of happiness, sanity, and spirit. And voila…saying good riddance to the ball and chain of a job I had has magically made all of those things reappear and I'm beginning to feel like myself again.

Since I cut ties last Thursday, I have laughed more than I have collectively over the last 3 years…I've smiled genuinely…I've been able to regain a sense of humor about life…I've stayed up past 8 PM on a week night and have attempted to sleep in longer than 5:00 AM…I've been able to stay the entire length of a rock show, without being mindful of the curfew I often set for myself…I haven't had to worry about working the weekends and covering uncovered shifts....I'm getting back into running and working out, which has always been a passion of mine…I'm starting to see that there are better opportunities out there that compliment and are in line with who I am and what I eventually hope to do…I'm learning that I don't have to settle for what is comfortable while compromising my self-respect and worth as an individual…I've discovered that what's considered stable isn't always fulfilling and rewarding, and because of that, the only thing worse than being unemployed is staying in a job that sucks the heart, soul, passion, and life right out of you.

It's been said that music comes the closest to expressing that which is inexpressable...so in honor of that, I present to you a video that says it all....

Fuck Guitar Center by Nice Peter



Add to My Profile | More Videos

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